Dreams, obsessions ………………..
Obsessions and dreams!
I been on the night shift for such a long time now….I own my own company, so it is really easy for me to work my own hours!
So being the total slacker that I am, I work at night and sleep most of the day away…I am building some webpages for one of my sites, and while I work I play music from my extensive mp3 collection. I like mood music, so I got play lists to motivate me…… My favorite is a nice collection of oldies, and classic rock stuff like Jackson Browne, Janis Joplin, and cool stuff like that! So I am working, busting out webpage code, and “Talk of the town” by the Pretenders starts playing…..
I don’t know if it’s cause I am a bedroom musician or what, but when I heard the words, they suddenly hit me and I felt like they are actually talking about how I am feeling about something……
Such a drag to want something sometime
One thing leads to another I know
Was a time wanted you for mine
Nobody knew
You arrived like a day
And passed like a cloud
I made a wish, I said it out loud
Out loud in a crowd
Everybody heard
‘Twas the talk of the town
It’s not my place to know what you feel
I’d like to know but why should I?
Who where you then? Who are you now?
Common laborer by night, By day highbrow
Back in my room I wonder then I
Sit on the bed, Look at the sky
Up in the sky
Clouds rearrange
Like the talk of the town
Maybe tomorrow, Maybe someday
Maybe tomorrow, Maybe someday
You’ve changed, Your place in this world
You’ve changed, Your place in this world
Oh but it’s hard to live by the rules
I never could and still never do
The rules and such never bothered you
You call the shots and they follow
I watch you still from a distance then go
Back to my room you never know
I want you, I want you but now
Who’s the talk of the town?
Maybe tomorrow, Maybe someday
Maybe tomorrow, Maybe someday
You’ve changed, Your place in this world
You’ve changed, Your place in this world
Talk of the town -
The Pretenders
So like a blast from the past….. I start thinking about this girl I met in 1997 when I was body piercer. Her name is Joan. I was working in a popular OC Nightclub with a popular radio station. The radio station sent DJ’s to the club and they played cool music, and pretty much pumped up the club to keep everyone spending cash and drinking….. I had made friends with the top DJ at the station and he started promoting my Body Piercing shop with free radio ads and my crew worked the club performing Body Piercing for the crowd. We were popular, and me and my partner were cleaning up on the publicity, and of course the cash, and this led to me becoming friends with all of the other DJ’s!!!!!!! I didn’t drink while I was working, but as soon as last call came I would get 3 or 4 double drinks and power them down with a straw, then go about securing a free take home bottle from the bartender or one of the bar maids…. I was really popular with the club so they would always hook me up!
So one night the club is extra crowded, there is some big promo going on and one of the other popular DJ’s was there and he was buzzed, and really working the club.. He was giving away cool stuff like snowboards, and shit like that… So he comes over to our booth and starts talking to the club crowd on his wireless Mic… He is telling them he is going to give away a cool prize to the next person who gets a wild body piercing!!!!! This gets the crowd going, and a mass of them rush over to our booth. I had like 6 or 7 guys from my shop watching out for us, and running crowd control while we pierced people…. But we were quickly overwhelmed by close to 100 people all asking for prices, etc…….. We only liked to do simple stuff at the club, since it was really dirty at the club and we had limited resources with us. So we get rid of most of the people there, my partner comes to me and he wants me to talk to this chick that wants her nipples pierced. I don’t pierce female nipples at the club cause we don’t have any privacy and seeing a topless woman at the club could be a real pain in the ass since this was a get drunk and try to score type of atmosphere, and topless women and drunk guys don’t mix very well!!!! My first impression of Joan was she was a little bitchy and kinda pushy…. I told her I didn’t want to do her piercing at the club, and I explained to her the reasons, I offered her a discount coupon to use at my shop, but she wanted them done tonight!!! She wanted them done tonight and she only wanted large gauge jewelry!!!!! fuck she was pissing me off! I almost told her no, but she was OK with people seeing her topless, and my partner was going to do the piercings, so I would run crowd control and we’d make some more cash!!!!!
After Joan was finished we were talking and I was drawn to her….. She was a hottie and she acted like she didn’t know it! Heh! I was working on the shops business card and we were looking for a sexy chick to use on the card, and she was perfect for it!!!!!! she had it all… Hips, Lips, and finger tips!!!!! We talked and I asked her if she would like to pose for the card? She was into it… So I gave her my number and told her to call me…… We she did call and we did a fucking bad ass shoot. Our card was the coolest business card of any of the Tattoo or Body Piercing shops around…….And as far as I am concerned it still is the best card I have seen to this day!!!
Joan and I really hit it off… She was fun to be with and we had a lot in common…. We started talking everyday on the phone, and she would hang out with us at the club when we were working….. And soon she became my front girl at the shop……
I gotta point out that I was drinking and drugging full time….As soon as I got off work I was getting loaded and that was it!!! Joan was dating this guy and he was cheating on her……..She had called on the phone and I was talking with her about it…..She was really hurt, but she always had her shield up, if you knew her, you knew that she was hurt, but she wouldn’t cop to it!!!! I really liked her, and had I been able to stay sober I may have had an opportunity to get closer with her, and who knows maybe we would have dated.. Who knows! But I was drinking and getting loaded on a daily basis, and I had just gotten over my break up with my fiancee. So hooking up was never on my mind… Oh I would have loved to have sex with her….. But I knew deep in my heart that she didn’t want me……I knew the kind of guys she liked and I didn’t fit into that class….But we were friends nonetheless, and she was bitchen arm candy when we were at the clubs. She was the hottest chick on the scene, and that was good enough for me. I forgot the most important piece of information……Joan was a normie, and typical week end warrior, she would party Friday, and Saturday, and come Sunday she got ready for the coming work week! When I really think about it, in many ways we were total opposites, she was responsible, had her own place, had a real job, and wasn’t an alcoholic……But I guess there was a real emotional tie there, cause we spent alot of time together…….And we talked on the phone almost daily for a long time. In typical alcoholic fashion my drinking and drugging took over and soon enough I was going to rave parties so I could score ecstasy, and I was missing work, and shorty after my partner split, and then I lost my shop. It was always someone else’s fault for my problems, I always had an excuse………….And for course it didn’t get any better……. Soon after that I was living in a shit hole motel by the beach, and was working in another shop, all of my money went up my nose or in a glass……..I remember Joan finding out that I didn’t have any food, and she made a trip to my motel to bring me a ham her mom had baked and some bread so I would have something to eat….She was the kind woman who thought about others, went out of her way to help people, but when it came to her love life she dated losers, and they shitted on her!!!!!! when ever I called Joan she was there for me, and she always knew the right words to make me feel better. you know she never once asked me why I was a fuck up…She accepted me for who I was.
So time marches on and I drift off, and out of the Body Piercing scene, Joan gets married, and has baby boy….. I saw her one time when she was still pregnant, and her husband seemed like a good guy…….I am still getting loaded and have no life and she is starting a brand new marriage and will soon be a mother. I remember it like it was only a few minutes ago…. After she and her husband left, I was all alone, and I kind of starting drifting off in to the past…. I was the most popular Body Piercer in the area, I had had a featured article about me in a top Tattoo magazine, and was part of another article about the owner of an Elite Tattoo shop I had worked at in the top Tattoo magazine, plus all of the other stuff I had done, and all I had now were regrets, and a alcohol and drug problem. I wished that we still hung out together, and talked on the phone, and I wished she was my wife, and she was going to be having my baby…….. And it hit me I was in love with her, and I wished I wasn’t a fucking loser…. Maybe if I wasn’t a loser I would have something to offer her, and maybe we would have dated BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!!…… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you know it was the rantings of a alcoholic…… The should of’s ,would of’s, could of’s too over and soon I was drunk off my ass. For some strange reason I was able to stay in touch with Joan, and while I drifted for another 4 or five years I thought about her. I even stayed with her and her husband for a short time, but that is another story…………
It is so funny that now I am sober, sometimes I remember those old feelings and they kinda of take over for a while…. Don’t get me wrong.. I wouldn’t trade my life today for anything……I have been sober for almost 2 and a half years now…. And even though I have had some really good times while getting loaded, they were few and far between the reality of an alcoholic…………..
Well so like it has been a long time since I have posted anything… But then I am a small business owner and my personal time is a almost nonexistent luxury these days..So time was just marching on… And I was doing what I am doing… (Which is work nonstop…Go to a few meetings and get used to northern Michigan weather!)
Here it is another sober day……
