Life on the Dark side of the Moon
So it has been a long time since I have written anything…. Mostly because I have been working a lot.. Which is a good thing!
I don’t know if anyone actually reads any of this shit I write, and I guess I don’t really care, this is my only way of coping…
I am filled with loneliness, and it keeps nagging at me. Nawing on me from inside……What can I say, other than it is my fault for
all of my problems. I wasted most of my life on drugs and alcohol… And even now after almost 4 years sober….Most of my life is good….
Well the stuff on the outside anyway…..But my whole life there days is filled with work.. And nothing else. I don’t have any friends here in Michigan,
and I spend all of my time when not working alone in my small apartment…..I eat , I sleep, and a work… And when I am not doing that I dream……….
I guess if I couldn’t dream, then I would be totally fucked!!!!!! But I guess I got it coming, I know that there are still prices that have to be paid for all of the
ugly things I have done in my life. I watch TV and live vicariously thru the various programs I see on TV…….I keep to myself because I don’t think I can handle
any more rejection…… I would rather just be alone than reach out and be rejected again! But again I guess I got it coming for all of the crap I have done in my past.
The biggest being pretending I was some guy online so I could talk romance and sex with Joan…… She found out, and now we’re no longer friends….I made amends
But that does nothing for how I feel about it…. Or how I feel now!!!!! fuck it….. The only thing I know is..If I don’t drink, I won’t get drunk!!! And that is what I live for!!!!
More later!
